Kathy Griffin has amassed some pretty juicy stories during her 20-something years in the entertainment industry, and lucky for pop culture junkies everywhere, she’s ready to dish the dirt.
In her new book, Kathy Griffin’s Celebrity Run-Ins, the Grammy and Emmy-winning comedian goes into delicious detail about some of the more memorable moments she’s shared with celebrities, including who she dislikes (Jon Hamm and Ashton Kutcher), who she likes (Miley Cyrus and Leonardo DiCaprio), and who was just a drunken mess (Harry Styles!).
One of the first and more candid confessions was her awkward run-in with Mad Men‘s Jon Hamm, whom she calls “disrespectful.”
“You’ll never convince me to like Jon Hamm,” Griffin wrote of the Emmy-winning actor. “The vibe I’ve always gotten from him is cold and somewhat disrespectful … toward me. I’m suggesting he’s one of these hot guys who’s mildly funny but actually thinks he’s comedian-level funny.”
At a swanky dinner party hosted by talent agent Sue Mengers, Kathy only had eyes for the legendary Oscar winner Jack Nicholson. “So when Hammy showed up, too, inside I thought, ‘Oh great,'” she wrote. “He even said to me, ‘What are you doing here?’ I said, ‘I earned my seat at the table. What are you doing here?'”
Apparently, it only got worse as the Bridesmaids star (who has since gone to rehab for alcohol addiction) began drinking. While Kathy was chatting about Rupert Murdoch with Jack, “Hammy picks that moment … to start whispering boozy yammering into my ear,” she revealed. “First it was, ‘You know your Emmy isn’t a real Emmy.’ I let that one go, but then he whispered, ‘You’re so o-o-o-old.'”
Kathy clarified that it wasn’t just Jon’s insults that offended her, but more so his “horrible timing” for interrupting her opportunity to share “an intimate conversation with frickin’ Jack Nicholson.”
Ashton Kutcher is another star who’s landed himself on Kathy’s sh*t list. Their bad blood began when they were co-hosting a charity event for uBid.com together in 2005.
“At least three separate times, we were standing in the wings, waiting to go out and present, and I’d say something like, ‘Hey, what if, when we go out, we do this … ,’ and suggest something, and he’d just ignore me,” she recalled. “If he said five words to me the whole day, I’d be surprised. It was bizarre and rude and made me feel as if he thought I was beneath him, someone not worth talking to in the slightest.”
Kathy then ran into him at a local Mexican restaurant with his then-wife Demi Moore. Kathy said hi, and Ashton did not. This is followed by a third final snub while Kathy was talking to rapper P. Diddy at a party.
“Kutcher stepped directly in front of me and started talking to Diddy as if I wasn’t even there,” she revealed. “So that’s three incidents. Do I loathe him? No. He’s just someone who’s made it perfectly clear to me that I have absolutely nothing to offer him during his precious time on earth.”
However, the comedian’s experiences haven’t all been sour. Kathy first talks about her deep love for Miley Cyrus, who is apparently totally “cool” with being made fun of, and fondly reminisces about the time the “Party in the U.S.A.” singer flashed her. Even more interesting was the time she made a move on the “beautiful douchebag” Leonardo DiCaprio at the 2016 Directs Guild of America Awards.
With Lily Tomlin as her “winglesbian,” Kathy “stood up and said, ‘Don’t be a douchebag, Leo. Get off your f*cking phone and say hi to the great Lily Tomlin!'” she wrote. “He either didn’t hear me or chose to ignore me. You decide. I repeated it until he finally turned his head, pulled his precious phone away, and kindly said hello to Lily. (He’s gorgeous by the way.)”
Never one to lay down without a fight, Kathy persisted. “I said again, ‘Jesus, Leo, don’t be such a douchebag,'” she recalled. “He walked away and with an adorable smile said, ‘I am a douchebag.’ Touché, Leo.”
But nothing beats the epic moment when Harry Styles embarrassed himself in front of Tom Hanks while backstage at an Eagles concert. While Kathy, Tom, and his wife Rita Wilson were talking, an apparently “very wasted” Harry approached Tom with some questions. Take a look at the hilarious excerpt below:
Harry: Re-membah when you wuz savin’ Private Ryan and had to bring ‘im back to ‘is mum? Re-membah?
Tom Hanks politely replies with caution: Yes.
Harry: Re-membah when you wuz in Cappin Phillips? And the other guy sez, ‘Oim’ the capn’ now”? ‘Membah?
Tom, trying go figure this young man out: Yes, yes, I do remember.
Harry: Was that scaarrry?
Even I wasn’t expecting that question. I turned to Tom: Yeah, Tom, was that scary?
Tom, clearly trying to save Harry Styles from himself (in a way Candle Jenner never could): Harry, have you met my friend, the comedian Kathy Griffin? (Tom really hit the word comedian hard.)
Harry was unfazed and returned his attention to the great Tom Hanks again …with the questions. It was like he was doing a memory brain teaser.
Harry: Re-membah when you wuz Forrest Gump? ‘Membah? ‘Membah?
Tom, still indulging: I was, yes.
Harry: You wuz always runnin’? Membah?
Yes, he was asking Tom Hanks if Tom remembers playing the role of Forrest Gump, for which he won the Academy Award. I can’t point out here enough how Harry Styles seemed to think it was his mission to make sure Tom Hanks did not forget the names of any of his films or the fact that he had starred in these films.
Harry: That was a good film.
Tom: I do remember.
Without explanation, Harry Styles turned and pivoted away. Tom Hanks had been pretty much frozen in the same sport during this magical and epic exchange. Tom’s answer was perfect and delivered very dryly:
Sometimes, I just want to drive them to rehab myself.
Kathy Griffin’s Celebrity Run-Ins is available in stores now.~Shelby Morton
What do you think about Kathy’s anecdotes? Will you be first in line to grab her book? Sound off below!