Release year: 2011
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Sun-worshiping Californians are disappearing by the droves at a popular beach hangout, and a pair of extremely gruff detectives (John Saxon and Burt Young) grumble their way through the case until the real culprit is discovered... it seems a giant burrowing sand-monster with a taste for well-tanned human flesh has set up house beneath the surface and has been partaking of beach bums and bunnies, sucking them down to a nasty (but mostly unseen) death.
The creature is kept completely concealed until the final minutes, but its triumphant arrival reveals the real reason the filmmakers kept it hidden so long: the dreaded beast looks like a giant artichoke!
The potential for campy fun in this premise is defeated by a completely straight, plodding detective story, but at least Saxon and Young turned in enjoyably cranky performances before picking up their checks.