B.L. I don't even know where
to start with this one! How do you prepare yourself both emotionally
and physically to play a submissive secretary who lets her boss
take "more" than advantage of her!
Steve Shainberg, the director, gave me a bunch of books on S&M
and people who cut themselves and I kind of read them and sort of
tried to be diligent about it but they were getting to me. I mean
I was thinking, "OK. These people like to dress up like horses
and have sex. OK, whatever!" What really did get me inside
it, in terms of the cutting stuff, was what I realized that everybody
is, of course in a much more subtle degree, is masochistic in some
ways. What I mean by that is not that people would deliberately
burn themselves with a kettle; I can't imagine doing that, but
how about like smoking for example, which until six weeks ago, I
did. Where you know that you are sucking in stuff that is terrible
for you and yet it seems attractive and it's something that
you desire. I think that is so sad. Or dating someone who is not
right for you, or staying up all night before you have to do something
important. I think people do it because it's a way of feeling
B.L. So what about the S&M scenes?
That was some pretty heavy-duty stuff.
In terms of that, to be honest with you, what really got me into
that and understanding it was Steve gave me this S&M porno to
watch where this girl had all these horrible things happening to
her (I won't go into details). But it was really hard to watch
and unlike anything I have seen before. But what it showed me was
that she was overwhelmed and there was no way to deny that she was
actually really feeling something. I think that kind of got me inside
B.L. But what is interesting is
that no matter how "weird" her sex life is, the character
that you play still has to carry out a sense of normalcy about her
M.G. Because it is normal
in a way.
B.L. How do you as an actor trust
the filmmaker and the movie that you are making to present it properly?
I went through the script really carefully with Steve to make sure
that it wasn't going to say something that was an anti-feminist
or that I didn't believe in. Literally, every moment that we
worked on the film I was so nervous and so careful. By the time
we finished doing that, which took weeks, I trusted him and believed
him that he wanted to make a movie that was saying something interesting.
I think that everyone has dark, painful complicated things going
on inside of them and I think that it is much more honest to acknowledge
that than to pretend like everything is so wonderful and happy all