Kate Spade’s shocking last words to older sister Reta

Kate SpadeKate Spade‘s older sister, Reta Saffo, told the Kansas City Star that Kate suffered from mental illness and had been self-medicating with alcohol.

She revealed that Kate had been fixated by Robin William’s 2014 suicide by hanging and watched the news about his death “over and over,” telling the paper, ” I think the plan was already in motion even as far back as then.”

Reta says she’d tried to get Kate to enter a facility for treatment: “I’d flown out to Napa and NYC several times in the past 3-4 years to help her to get the treatment she needed (inpatient hospitalization). She was always a very excitable little girl and I felt all the stress/pressure of her brand (KS) may have flipped the switch where she eventually became full-on manic depressive.”

Most shocking of all, Reta revealed, “One of the last things she said to me was, ‘Reta, I know you hate funerals and don’t attend them, but for me would you PLEASE come to MINE, at least. Please!’ I know she perhaps had a plan, but she insisted she did not.”

Reta added, “She was a dear little person. So dear — so kind, so funny. I’ll miss our 6-7-hr-long phone conversations between NY and NM.” ~Alexandra Heilbron

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Comments & Discussion

  1. Teejaie • June 7, 2018 @ 10:47 AM

    My 18 year old nephew just committed suicide by hanging last month.
    There are no winners here. Questions that will never have answers and always Why?
    Please reach out to someone, see someone, talk to someone, your life is worth it! Your family is worth it!

  2. Toni • June 7, 2018 @ 11:15 AM

    It’s not necessary to spread the particulars of how she died and what she said . The signs were there and support was there but she chose to go ahead . She felt in her mind that there was no other option . Mental illness is debilitating .It’s a terrible illness and a terrible tragedy . You can’t force them to get help . They have to want it . We can try and help but ultimately it’s their choice .
    Sorry for all involved . It will be a really rough road ahead for them .

  3. birdman_38 • June 7, 2018 @ 11:16 AM

    I can’t stand how she’s being heralded as a saint when she ruined her young daughter’s life.

  4. Cathy • June 7, 2018 @ 11:56 AM

    Birdman, When you are that depressed all you want is for the pain to end. Depression is physically and emotionally painful. It is like you are in a black hole and and all you want to do is die. You do not think clearly, it is a mental illness. It is very hard for someone to understand depression if you have not experienced it. You still love the people in your life but all you can think of is for the pain to end. I wish she would have accepted help.

  5. Carolynne • June 7, 2018 @ 12:07 PM

    The people who are being so cruel to her clearly have no idea what mental illness really is. Would you tell someone with cancer they’re an asshole for leaving their child? Mental illness is awful, I suffer from PTSD, depression, and anxiety. I pray every day I don’t fall into the abject darkness again for my daughters sake, but if I could control that it wouldn’t be an illness… people need to know these things because otherwise how will we ever help the rest of the world suffering? Mental illness patients should not have to suffer alone #EndTheStigma

  6. June Hodsdon • June 7, 2018 @ 12:27 PM

    Thats because you don’t understand mental illness.

  7. mIKE Hunt • June 7, 2018 @ 3:55 PM

    I too suffered mental illness enough to want to kill myself. Thankfully, when I was starting to go under, I realized that the person who would suffer more than I was at that moment, was my little boy, & I managed to call 911 while I could still be rescued. Afterwards, felt so guilty for being so selfish.
    I got help and it didn’t always work – you have to keep trying – especially if you have even just one person who loves you.
    Depressed people are often very self absorbed, and need to be helped getting out of their own heads.
    If you know a person who is so self-obsessed they are continually down, pleas have patience, and encourage them to find something they love, more than they want to feel sorry for themselves.

    I do not feel sorry for Spade. She was a narcissistic, selfish woman who ruined her child’s life.
    She had the resources to fix things, but obviously lacked the awareness, or desire, of how to get over her self.
    A fool.

  8. Carolyn Barnes • June 7, 2018 @ 8:17 PM

    NAMI ( National alliance for mental illness ) seeks to educate and support families and their loved ones who have been wounded by mental illness. It is as real as cancer, diabetes, heart disease and any other physical illness. PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE those who have taken their own lives or anyone else who suffers from brain illness, and by the way, that is exactly what it is. We need support, not criticism during what can be a very dangerous time.

  9. Roni • June 7, 2018 @ 9:24 PM

    What ignorant remarks!
    My sister was on meds and seeing a shrink. All this doesn’t help when the brain cells are not balanced.
    It is hard for depressed people to be useful to loved ones as they don’t enjoy life themselves.

  10. D. Lalande • June 7, 2018 @ 10:04 PM

    The real heroes are the ones that fights and overcomes all the adversities of life until their natural ending death. A couple of weeks and months further down the way and maybe things would have change for better. An old friend of mine just did the same on last 16th May leaving his own family and friends completely demolished. So selfish !

  11. edward • June 7, 2018 @ 11:03 PM

    Some very cruel comments on all sides.
    Kate Spade did not ruin her daughter’s life by ending her own. Her daughter may recover in time with help and grow to understand why her mother made the choice she did.Its a tremendous lesson but there are many survivors out there
    who have managed to live well despite such a tragedy.

  12. JillyKaren • June 8, 2018 @ 2:13 AM

    Another thing to consider is that in the midst of crippling depression and suicidal ideation, sufferers are often utterly convinced that the lives of their loved ones will be better if the sufferer removes himself or herself from the picture permanently. From this perspective, suicide isn’t intended to be a selfish act. It is meant to be a gift.

  13. michael bennett • June 8, 2018 @ 6:57 AM

    Only someone who has walked in a mentally ill persons shoes can really understand the darkness of depression and wonder is there any light at the far end of the tunnel

  14. Susan • June 8, 2018 @ 9:27 AM

    There is always a better way to handle things. You just need to want the better. My prayers go out to her family!

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